Damn, I haven't started posting for so late already! And I'm meeting Amanda tomorrow at 9am to pack stupid hostel stuff.

Have to move EVERYTHING back by tomorrow 12pm because they want to clean the hostel. Yeah right, I bet it's as dirty as ever.. -.-" Hmms, results suck big time. Like damn, even though I failed only one, that only one had to be a grade F9 and obviously, that would be Mathematics. Damn lah. Zzz. I missed by one percent to get out of the hostel. Well, It's not that I don't want too stay, but it's just that.. I don't know.. Self expectation? Mixed feelings. Hmms, not much stuff happened. Consisted of training and super stupid post exam activities. I think Anglican has the worst post exam activities ever. I think Poi Ching has even better ones.. lol. They don't plan it well.. and in the end we just stay in class and play daidi. xD! Oh well, class is so boring now. haha. Nothing much really.. next week is the holidays already. Like so quick. haha. I guess holidays will consist of trainings and relaxation.. but most of all I guess I will be studying too.. crucial for Final year as my tournaments will be taking up most of the time. Haiya, I don't have much to say.. neither do I have the mood. I mean, I don't know why it's so important for me to leave the hostel.

You guys, why do you guys always want me to leave. I mean, yes, MAYBE I might have more time for you guys. But think, now most of the time I will be spending with my secondary school friends. It's not that I want to leave you guys out, but I really don't have the time. You guys must understand. I mean, I'm always so busy with school work, trainings, assignments, projects and all. Even if I get out of the hostel, I might not go out with you guys too. I need to study as well. And that doesn't give me much time. I feel bad, firstly, you guys are so desperate for me to get out of the hostel.. and other times when I go out with my friends, you guys always have to follow me. Why? Can't I have my own private time with my friends? Must all of you always follow me whereever I go just because you guys feel bored? I know, you guys don't see me often compared to the past. But no matter what we still have to go on. I hope you guys understand.. and I hope what I say is not offensive in any kind. I'm not good with my words, so this is all I can say. Please, all I want is you guys to understand how I feel. I feel real bad inside, having to equalise time with you guys and others. I feel bad, that these results disappointed people. I feel bad, I feel stressed up.. I hope I can cope. It's hard in this school, you must understand. No, I don't want you guys to pity me or whatsoever, but all I want is all of you to understand me. I can't just pon training just because you guys want to go out with me. I don't like you guys following me around, because I feel that I should have my own privacy. And of course, I feel bad because of my parents separation. This is making me tear. But I don't care. Because this is what I want to say and just to get it out. But yet, I have never regretted coming to Anglican. I have nice seniors, friends, teachers, environment, coach, almost everything that I never thought I could have. I ever thought I would be going to some neighbourhood school.. but yet, I managed to come here. I know it's not easy, that's why I'm going to work hard. It might be abit too late, but I can try. Although some conflicts between friends, I'll pull through. Obstacles in our lives are made to improve us, strengthen us. I guess I will be posting up my results soon, to show you guys exactly how pathetic I did. For now, I guess I got to rest. I have training at 1pm tomorrow and I'm meeting Amanda at 9am to pack stuff in the hostel.

We got such horrible results, yet all you could say was how many As you got. And what you wanted your mom to get. I mean, there's nothing wrong I know. But we are sad with our results.. can you not just talk about your results all the time and think about us? Yes, you got all As despite staying in the hostel. And you managed to get 1st in class and 64/386 in the whole level. Congrats. I'm sorry, but this is what I want to say.. we agreed to communicate.. so please don't get too angry.

Screw this. I feel like such a bad person now. A suckiest one. FUCK>

[[Lobbie...]]
11.56PM

Labels: I hate this. It's stressing me out. It's tiring.

♥ 10:20 PM